Black Jack, Sopranos Style

Last night I had another strange dream that I remembered. I was a member of Tony Soprano’s crew and we were at a meeting. There were 7 or 8 of us sitting around a table and the meeting started off with us all laughing as we watched a news report citing the death of former mob boss Corrado “Junior” Soprano, even though Junior was standing directly behind Tony, who was sitting at the head of the table, right at that moment.

Besides Junior and Tony, the only other member I recognized was Christopher Moltisanti. The meeting went on for a few minutes and I don’t remember anything we talked about. When it was over most of the group got up and walked out, with the exception of the guy sitting across from me at the end of the table. He challenged me to a card game, and when Moltisanti heard the challenge, he came over to join us.

Motisanti sat down across from me to the right of the unnamed guy. We were playing for pretty big stakes; it was a $5 buy in. “No Name” dealt, the game was Black Jack and for some reason, Moltisanti, sitting to his right, had the first bet. He went all in and we both called him, so this was going to be a short game. Moltisanti took a hit and busted. No name took a hit and stayed. I took a hit and also busted.

“No Name” collected the money and started to get up without showing us his hand. As we pressed him, he held onto his cards and refused to show them. We finally forced them out of his hands and took a look. He had also busted.

In a normal card game among normal friends this probably would have never happened in the first place. But if it had, there would have been some yelling, and maybe the other guys would have held a grudge for a day or two, before he was forgiven.

But this wasn’t a normal card game; this was a card game in the world of The Sopranos, so you know there was only one way this was going to end. That’s right, Chrissy and I beat the holy crap out of the guy, and then walked out of the room laughing about it, as we left “No Name” lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

I’m not sure if I woke up after that or not, but that’s it, that’s all I remember.

Back To School Nightmare

I know, it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. I moved all of my Red Sox/baseball stuff to here, and I’ve been spending all of my blogging time over there since. I never intended to abandon this one, I just haven’t seen or experienced much lately that has inspired me to blog about. Hopefully that will change as I had my first inspiration in a while this morning.

They say that your dreams have meaning and are usually related to something you may have been thinking about recently, or at least I think they do. Kyla started school yesterday and the thought of having to help her with all of that first grade homework has been terrifying to me. This may have been the inspiration for this dream.

Usually when I have the “back to school nightmare”, I’m back in high school and I’m not a teenager, I’m my adult self. This time, although I was my 40 year old adult self, I was not in high school, I found myself sitting at a desk in the front row of a 4th grade classroom. I’m not really sure why it was 4th grade, but that’s where I was.

The teacher told us to take out our math books and complete all the problems on a certain page. No problem I figured, it’s 4th grade math, and besides, all the answers are in the back of the book, how difficult can it be? Well, it becomes very difficult when you realize that you don’t have your book, and instead of just admitting this to the teacher, you decide to try to fake your way through it. It’s even more difficult when you’re attempting this feat while sitting in the front row, directly in front of the teacher’s desk.

Somehow I managed to do it. The teacher never moved from her desk and never questioned the fact that I did not have my math book in front of me as I spent a grueling 45 minutes sweating it out and scribbling on a piece of paper. As the end of class neared, everyone had to pass their work up to the front row. As I collected all the work in my row, I crumbled up my own “work” and put it in my pocket. I then went up to the teacher’s desk with the stack of everyone else’s work, handed it to her as the bell rang, and then booked it out of the classroom.

Phew! I had done it. I faked my way through the entire class, much like I had done throughout most of high school; which is probably the reason why I usually have these nightmares in the first place, as I’m subconsciously afraid that all of that faking is going to come back and bite me in the ass someday.

Anyway, I faked my way through the entire 45 minutes, fooled the teacher into believing I had done the work, and got out of there without her ever knowing the difference. It was almost too easy; maybe being a 40 year old 4th grader isn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.

.00014575% Jesus

Currently there are 6,861 songs on my main iPod playlist that I play randomly.

Earlier today, as I was cooling down from my workout, I noticed the old Springsteen Storytellers special from 2005 was on one of the high def channels, so I flipped it on and watched it for a few minutes. After he played "Jesus Was An Only Son" I got up to take a shower.

I went into the bathroom, popped the iPod into the iHome player and hit the playlist. Guess what song came on? If you guessed "Jesus Was An Only Son" you would be correct. According to my calculations there was a .00014575% chance of that happening.

I'm wondering if Jesus, or maybe Bruce, was trying to send me a message of some sort that I missed.

Patriot or Idiot?

At about 4am this morning someone in my neighborhood set off some fireworks. It happened again around 5am. To me this is not patriotic, it's idiotic. Some of us had to get up and go to work this morning. What a bunch of ass holes.

Blood On My Guitar

My company held a blood drive today at our building. I remember a long time ago trying to donate blood and being rejected. I could not remember why I was rejected, but I’ve had it in my head ever since that I am unable to give blood.

Seeing as it was the “Safety Committee” that was sponsoring the blood drive, and I’m a member, I figured it was my duty to try to give blood again. Actually it was more to spare myself the embarrassment of showing up at our next meeting having not given blood at the event that our committee was sponsoring.

So, I went out to the truck and got started with the tests. The first test they do is to prick your finger and take a small sample of blood to make sure there is enough iron in it, which I passed. Next was to take my temperature, which was normal. As the phlebotomist was taking my blood pressure it suddenly dawned on me why I was rejected the last time I tried to give blood.

I’ve been battling high blood pressure for my entire adult life. It’s always been right around the borderline of high, sometimes a little below, sometimes a little above. Today was a high day and I was rejected, again.

You may be asking yourself, what the hell does any of this have to do with blood on my guitar? Well, the first test they did involved pricking my finger. When I got home tonight and started playing guitar the little prick hole started to bleed. I then realized that I was unable to give blood and I had been pricked for nothing.

Why don’t they take your blood pressure before they give you the prick?

When Will They Learn?

I was watching one of Kyla’s kid shows with her yesterday. A high school kid takes an interest in a girl in the school. Instead of just approaching her and starting a conversation, he decides to find out what she’s interested in and then pretends to have the same interests.

He shows up in her karate class and proceeds to get decked by her on her first move. He then gets involved in a conversation with her in which he lies to her about horseback riding and gets her to believe that he knows French by repeating the one phrase he learned.

When will men learn? Don’t these TV characters watch TV? Don’t they see that these types of things never work out? You can not build a relationship that is based on lies. In this case, as in most, it will only be a matter of days before she finds out that she can beat him up with one hand, that the only horse he’s ever ridden was plastic and attached to a pole, and that the only other French phrase he knows is "Le Pew", thanks to the cartoon skunk.

Do guys actually try this in real life? I never did, I wasn’t all that bright when it came to women back then, but I was smart enough to know that something like that wasn’t going to work. My strategy was the exact opposite, I always told them the truth.

That didn’t seem to work out very well either though. Apparently most women did not like to hear what I was “interested in”. I guess the truth hurts; maybe I should have lied to them.

Buy These Tickets or I'll Kill You

According to this article, a convicted murderer was arrested for scalping tickets outside Fenway last night. Listed among the contents found is his pockets were the following:

two tickets to a Red Sox game against the New York Yankees on June 2; three tickets for a Toronto Blue Jays game on July 13; and 16 tickets for Wednesday night's Celtics game against the Philadelphia 76ers

What a dumbass, did he really think that he was going to actually make money on those 16 Celtic tickets?

Backup Caused By Lost Load

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I saw this headline on the news. My first instinct was to think, “That’s not right, a lost load should be clearing a backup, not causing one.” At least that’s always been my experience.

Then the story came on, a tractor-trailer rolled over on I-495, spilling its contents all over the road and causing a traffic jam.

That’s when I realized that it’s all in the context.

That’s also when I realized that it could go either way in the context that I had in mind when I first saw it. Sure a lost load could clear out a backup in the place it is lost from, but it could also cause a backup in the place that received it. I know plenty of mine certainly have.

Ain't Isn't a Word

It ain’t? At least that’s what I was always taught. However as I was perusing my list of songs on my iPod I noticed that there were quite a few of them that had the word “ain’t” in the title.

And after doing a search for the word, I found a total of 40 songs. And those are just song titles, the number of songs that use the word somewhere in the song is uncountable.

I decided to look the word up in my trusty on-line dictionary (I never go anywhere without it, well I never go anywhere where there’s an internet connection without it) and here’s what I found:

ain’t

So, you can say that ain’t ain’t a word if you want to, but you ain’t gonna convince me that it ain’t.

Oh and don’t even start with the word “gonna”, because I found that one in there too.

My Childhood Crushes Are Getting Old

This morning I woke up with this sudden realization: all of my first childhood crushes are old now.

One of the very first that I can remember, way back when I was a wee tot of 6 or 7 in the early 70’s was Emmy Jo on the “New Zoo Revue”. I used to love watching her dancing around and singing with Doug, Freddy, Charlie, and Henrietta. Emily Peden turns 63 this year.

Next in 1976, came one of my all time Saturday morning favorites, I still get all warm and fuzzy thinking about it to this day, “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl”. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do when I saw Electra Woman dressed up in all that tight spandex, but I knew I wanted to do something, the same with Dyna Girl and her pony tails. Deidre Hall turns 60 this year.

At the same time that spandex was ruling my Saturday mornings, 3 new women were coming into my life on the weeknights.

First, was Wonder Woman, tall, dark, and gorgeous, scantily clad in her red, white, and blue costume, complete with high healed boots and bullet deflecting wrist bands, oh my, how I wanted her to tie me up with that magic lasso. Lynda Carter turns 56 this year.

Kelly Garrett was always my favorite “Angel”, and the only one to stick around for the entire 5 year run. I don’t know how that Bosley managed to control himself while constantly being surrounded by so many hot P.I.’s. Jaclyn Smith turns 60 this year.

Steve Austin was cool, especially when you were a 7 year old boy. But once I met his girlfriend, Jaime Summers, I no longer gave a rat’s ass about “The Six Million Dollar Man”. Oh I still watched it, but “The Bionic Woman” was the one for me. Lindsay
Wagner turns 58 this year.

Those are some of my firsts, all of them now into their late 50’s and early 60’s, and still looking great I might add (although I could not find any recent photo’s of Emily Peden), but still getting up there in age and serving as a gentle reminder of my own mortality.

The Flaws of Kong

I finally got around to seeing Peter Jackson’s remake of “King Kong”. Overall, I enjoyed the film, most of the special effects were dazzling, but there were a couple of scenes that just looked a little too hokey to me, the “Brontosaurus Run” for example. Andy Serkis was amazing again, this time, for all intents and purposes, becoming a gorilla.

It is an admirable remake with more depth, Jackson stayed true to the original 1933 version right down to its flaws. To me there were 3 major flaws in this story, there are actually many more than that, but there are 3 big ones that stand out to me.

The first one is; how did they get a 25 foot, who knows how many tons, giant gorilla onto that ship? The answer is, I don’t know, and neither does anyone else, because they never showed it. In both versions of the movie it skips right over that scene, going from the scene where Kong is subdued on Skull Island, right back to New York and the opening night of the show.

Sure the argument can be made that it was skipped over for time constraints, but I think it’s fairly important to the story. If you’re not going to show me how they did it, then at least tell me at some point.

I mentioned something similar in this entry, watching a fantasy movie like this, you have to have a certain amount of suspension of disbelief, but for me, that suspension can only go so far.

If you want to tell me that somewhere on this earth there is an island inhabited by giant insects and rodents, prehistoric creatures, a 25 foot gorilla, and a bunch of savage natives who worship it, I’m down with that. You don’t have to do much talking to convince me that it’s out there. But if you’re going to tell me that a bunch of sailors, a movie producer, and an actor in the 1930’s, somehow managed to pick up that gorilla and put it onto the ship, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna need some proof. Like I said, if you’re not going to show me how it was done, then you at least have to tell me.

The second flaw to me is this: its night time and the Broadway show starring Kong is beginning. The actual start time of the show is not noted, but I’m assuming that it has to be sometime around 8 or 9 pm. About twenty minutes into the show, Kong breaks free and goes on his rampage in Manhattan. Approximately a half an hour later he climbs the Empire State Building.

About an hour elapses from the time the Broadway show begins to the time that Kong gets to the top of the Empire State Building. It doesn’t seem to me that they are implying that any more time than this goes by, yet Kong and Darrow watch the sun rise together from the top of the building. Soon after that it is full daylight when the bi-planes arrive and begin to attack. What did I miss here? By my estimations this movie went from 8-9 pm to 5-6 am in the span of an hour. Can someone please explain that one to me?

The third and final flaw to me is the most egregious. A bunch of people discover an island inhabited by giant insects and rodents, prehistoric creatures, and a 25 foot gorilla. They manage to capture the gorilla and bring it back to the states. The reason for this would seem to be greed, at least in Carl Denham’s case, as it is all about the fame and fortune for him. It is never really stated why the rest of them agreed to it, but it is assumed that it was for the money as well.

This is all well and good, bringing a giant gorilla back to the states and putting it on display for the entire world to see is certainly going to be a money maker. But here’s what I don’t get, why the hell didn’t any of them tell anyone else about this island? Denham tells a story about how they found Kong on an island, subdued him, and brought him back, but he never makes any mention at all about what else occupied the island. Didn’t it occur to any of them that people are going to want to know about this place? If they were motivated by money, I have to believe that someone would have been willing to pay them big bucks for the location of Skull Island and the existence of its other occupants.

It couldn’t have been that they were afraid that no one would believe them; after all, they just brought a 25 foot gorilla back from the place. That right there should be enough to convince someone to go check it out. What have they got to lose? Even if no one is willing to give them any money until after they see it for themselves, the worst case scenario is that they never get paid, but by not telling anyone, they guarantee that they never make any money from it.

And that’s assuming that greed is the only motivation. I have to think that at least one of the other people on that ship is going to think that it’s probably a good idea to let people know that this place exists, regardless of whether or not he can make any money from it. I think that I would have anyway.

Get Back Loratadine

I have been allergic to dust and dust mites since I was eighteen, and I have been taking some sort of medication for it on a daily basis since. Without the medication my nose is stuffy and runny, I get post-nasal drip, and my eyes get itchy and watery; all of this causing a lot of sniffling, sneezing, nose-blowing, and coughing.

My “drug of choice” for as long as I can remember has been Claritin D, or more specifically, loratadine. It wasn’t the first one I used, but I’ve been using it for so long that I can’t even remember what I used before it.

It works well for me, keeping me semi-normal most of the time, the symptoms are never completely gone, I still flare up during pollen season, and I still have occasional days when I wish my nose would just go away, but overall, it helps a great deal and I’ve been very happy with it.

At least I was until a couple of years ago when it went from a prescription only drug to an over the counter drug. Apparently this was a good thing for many people, but I wasn’t one of them. I can see how people who only need to use it occasionally would find it easier to just walk into a pharmacy, supermarket, or department store and pick up a package whenever they need to, instead of having to obtain a prescription first, but those of us who use it on a regular basis got screwed.

You see, it was just as easy for me to get my doctor to write a prescription, refillable up to 12 times, once a year, then refill it once a month and go pick it up, so this change did not make it anymore convenient. What it did make it is more expensive.

When it was a prescription only drug, I made a $10 co-payment for a 30 day supply. Now that it’s over the counter, even buying the CVS brand and using coupons, I pay about $10 for a box of 15; which is basically double the price. I went from paying $10 a month for a 30 day prescription, to paying about $20 a month for two 15 count boxes. And to make things even worse, apparently there is something in this drug that is being used to make illegal drugs, so it is now being restricted to one box per person. So, not only do I have to pay twice as much to get it, but I have to go in to get it twice as often. This is not more convenient.

So, what was a great relationship for a long time had recently become rocky and I decided that maybe it was time for a change. I discussed the options with my doctor and he recommended that I try Allegra. So I did it, I broke off a long-term relationship and got involved in a new one.

Things got off to a great start, I was now back to 30 day prescriptions at $10 co-payments and I was happy. Unfortunately, what started off so promising went downhill in a hurry. Even though this new relationship was less of a hassle and costing me less money, I was not being satisfied.

My symptoms were getting worse. By the end of the first 30 day supply I had a stuffy, runny nose, itchy, watery eyes, and post nasal drip. I was sniffling, blowing, sneezing, and coughing. It seemed as though the Allegra was almost completely ineffective, but I was saving money and it was easier to obtain, so I tried to stick it out. I thought that maybe I just needed some time for it to take effect. After about halfway through the second prescription I knew that this was just not going to work out. My fling was over.

Yesterday I went crawling back to loratadine. The switch paid immediate dividends as my symptoms began to clear up almost right away. Now I’m right back to where I was 2 months ago, paying twice as much money and going in to get it twice as often, but this time I am happy to do it. Some relationships are worth the extra time and money.

Love and Happiness

Love and Happiness played on my iPod yesterday. As I was listening to the lyrics I was thinking about how true they ring. You can see all of them here, but I’m talking about these ones specifically:

And they’re tearing down walls
In the name of peace
And they’re killing each other
In the Middle East

They raise the price of oil
And they censor our mouths
If you are a young couple today
Forget buying a house
And we wage our wars
In the neighborhoods
We kill the young to feed the old
And man that ain’t no good

So you’re thinking, yep that’s pretty much the way things are today. But you know what? John Mellencamp released this song in 1991. That’s right, 16 years ago. Shouldn’t that stuff be ancient history by now?

Not only have we made no progress in the last 16 years, we haven’t even been able to maintain the status quo, things have gotten even worse.

All of this hit me as I was listening to this song and I was just shaking my head and thinking, what the hell kind of world are we living in?

The Original Fire Has Died and Gone

About a month ago, Chris Cornell left Audioslave, and as much as I love Audioslave, I don’t really care that much. The fact is, it’s not so much Audioslave’s music that I love; it’s Cornell’s. He wrote it all, just like he did with all the music from Soundgarden and his two solo albums (second one forthcoming in June). And it really doesn’t matter what he does next, whether it’s to continue solo, or form a new band, he’s going to write the music and surround himself with good musicians to record it, and I’ll probably like it. Besides, 7 years and 3 albums is a long time for a super group to stay together.

Would the music he’s made over the past 7 years been different if he didn’t have Rage Against the Machine as his backup band? Of course it would have, he wrote that music with those 3 guys in mind. Different but most likely still good and I still probably would have listened to it and enjoyed it. Although we’ll probably get a sense of what that music would have been like without the band when he releases his new album in June, consisting of music he wrote during that time which did not fit the Audioslave mold.

Anyway, although I knew he left the band, I only just now got around to finding out why, or at least supposedly why, according to sources from the New York Post that claim it was over money. Apparently Cornell was not happy with the fact that he wrote all the music, but the four of them split the money equally. IF this is true, it’s pretty petty of him.

I mean seriously, how much money do you need? Is he still having fun making music with this band? If the answer is no then that’s a different story, it’s time to move on. But if the answer is yes, than so what if you’re splitting the money equally with your band mates even though you did all the writing. It’s not like you did extra work that you normally wouldn’t have done and you should be paid more for it. You were writing that stuff regardless and you happened to have 3 great musicians to play and record it with. Get over yourself dammit, and just enjoy writing and playing your music and having fun with it. I wish I had half the ability you have.

Anyway, rant over. It’s too bad it had to go down this way because I’m sure they still had a lot of good music left in them together. But then again, although I definitely liked all 3 of their albums, I admit that I liked each one a little less than the previous one, so maybe this is for the best.

“Rage” is getting back together to do a benefit show in April and although they’re claiming it’s a one-time thing, Tom Morello isn’t ruling out future collaborations. That’s good news for “Rage” fans, although personally I’m not one of them.

As for us Cornell fans, it probably doesn’t matter who he’s making music with, it’ll most likely be good and we’ll most likely like it. I just wish the guy didn’t have to be such an ass about it.

An Announcement About Nothing

Apparently Nebraska Senator Chuck Hagel’s name has been discussed as a potential Republican presidential candidate in 2008.

On March 7, 2007, Senator Hagel's office announced that he would make an appearance in his home state to "discuss his future plans”. Speculation at the time was that this announcement could entail anything from a run at the presidency in 2008, a 2008 Senatorial re-election campaign, or plans to leave the political sphere after his current term in the Senate expires.

Yesterday he gathered the press together in Omaha for a nationally televised conference, stepped up to the podium, and announced, "I am here today to announce that my family and I will make a decision on my political future later this year."

You gotta love politics, where a person can attract all kinds of national media attention and then make a statement about nothing. Maybe this guy’s been watching too much “Seinfeld”.

See Ya Later Alligator

Could someone please explain to me why anyone would want to keep a 6 foot, 125 pound alligator in their basement? I know about the stories of people buying baby alligators as pets and then getting rid of them once they start getting too big and people realize that they do not make good pets. I never understood why these people did not have the foresight to realize this in the first place.

But at least in most cases, they do realize it and get rid of the thing. What the hell were these people thinking? I don’t care if it was your brothers and he died, you don’t keep the alligator to honor his memory. He shouldn’t have had it in the first place.

Never mind the fact that it’s dangerous, it also must have been a bitch to feed, not to mention expensive. It’s also not fair to the alligator; which was cooped up in a 12x8 Plexiglas cage and did not have enough water to submerge in.

The alligator appeared to be “well-nourished and had good muscle tone”, but I can’t believe that it actually got enough to eat, at least not as much as it would have in the wild; which may have been evidenced by the fact that it was about 4 feet shorter than the average alligator of it’s age. And regardless, what the hell kind of life is that, living in a 12x8 Plexiglas enclosure? Did these people think that they were actually treating the alligator well?

Apparently they were not too happy about losing the alligator. Are you fucking kidding me? Are they going to miss all those nights of snuggling up with it, all the belly rubs, and all those days of playing fetch?

And apparently there are quite a few other people in this town (and I’m sure in many others) keeping alligators as pets. I would love to be able to understand what goes on in the minds of people like this.

As disturbing to me as this is, here’s a quote from one of the articles I linked too that might be even more disturbing:

"We've learned how to deal with everything from monkeys to elephants, alligators, snakes — a lot of exotic animals," Rooks said. "There's a whole slew of critters that are not legal."

Did that guy say elephants?

Dirty Cops Suck

I don’t know why, but for some reason I woke up this morning with this thought in my head, dirty cops are among the lowest form of scum on this earth. If they are not the lowest, they are definitely near the top of the list.

At least with most other types of law offenders, you can take steps to protect yourself and your children. Sure it may not always work, but you know what’s out there and what you need to do to avoid becoming a victim.

But if you ever find yourself in a position where you are in need of the services, or in the custody, of a police officer, or any other type of law enforcement agent, and that agent is not on the level, there is nothing you can do. You are supposed to be able to trust these people and if you are in a situation involving one of them, you are at their mercy and can do nothing but trust them and hope that they are going to do the right thing.

I’m not necessarily going anywhere with this, like I said, it’s just a thought that happened to be in my head when I woke up and I decided to write it down here to point out how much I think scumbags like this suck.

The Guest That Wouldn't Leave

Over the weekend the city of Boston was visited by the great aircraft carrier USS John F. Kennedy. The JFK is scheduled to be decommissioned later this month in Florida, and then it will be stored in Philadelphia until they decide what to do with it.

I have heard some suggestions that since its namesake was born right here in the city of Brookline, that maybe Boston should become its permanent home as a museum. I think that’s a great idea and I’m onboard with it (pun intended). Unfortunately, that's probably not going to happen, or maybe it is.

This ship was supposed to leave on Monday afternoon, however a mechanical malfunction delayed its departure and the ship stayed in port until Tuesday. Yesterday, because of high winds, its departure was delayed for yet another day.

They’ll try to get out of here again today. It looks like today’s winds will not be anywhere near what they were yesterday, but we’ll see what happens.

I think somebody is trying to tell us something, that maybe the idea of the JFK staying in Boston permanently isn’t such a bad idea after all.

I Hate Jigsaw Puzzles

I just helped Kyla put together a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle, I CAN NOT STAND jigsaw puzzles, I absolutely despise them. There are not many other things on this earth that I consider to be a bigger waste of valuable time. It’s just a picture on a piece of cardboard that has been chopped up into a certain number of pieces and has to be put back together again. If you didn’t chop it up to begin with, I wouldn’t have to waste my time putting it back together.

I can see the appeal of it for kids. I remember as a kid putting some together up at my grandmother’s house and feeling a sense of accomplishment when I was done. But as I got older I found that there were millions of other things that I would much rather be spending my time doing.

Kyla is at a stage in her life where she enjoys putting them together. She has a bunch of them and every once in a while she pulls a couple out and works on them. Although she’s perfectly capable of completing them herself, she often asks for help, mostly because she likes doing things together then because she actually needs help. Of course I enjoy spending time with her, but I dread hearing those words, “daddy can you help me?”, when I see here sitting at the table working on a jigsaw puzzle. I would much rather hear her say something like, “daddy can I inject you with a dose of hyoscine-pentothal?”, or “daddy, can I strap you into this iron maiden?”.

That’s right, if you ever need to torture me for information, or just for the sheer pleasure of it, all you have to do is lock me up in an empty room with nothing but a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle and the instructions that I will not be let out of the room until I either complete the puzzle or give up the information.

Message To My Loved Ones

This battle to get Anna Nicole’s body buried is really getting ridiculous.

I’ve said this many times to many people, but now I’m going to write it down. I’m not sure how official a blog is, but if I’m gone at least this will be here in case there’s some sort of battle over what to do with my body.

First of all, take anything useful from it and donate it to medicine. If there’s anything left after that, and with all the crap that’s going on with me, I’m sure they’ll be plenty that they won't want, do not bury or entomb it. I’m a firm believer that the dead are taking up too much space on this earth and I don’t want to be contributing to that.

Other than that, I don’t give a flying fuck what you do with it, I’m done with it and I don’t need it anymore. You can burn it and let the ashes blow away in the wind, or keep them in an urn on your mantelpiece if you so desire (although, personally I think that's kind of creepy), or if it’s easier, you can leave it in the dumpster behind the convenience store down the street from my house.

Bridge To Terabithia

Yesterday I took Kyla to see this movie, and I walked out of the theatre with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My advice to anyone who is planning on seeing this movie is, “DON’T”, at least not if you're expecting to see another version of "The Chronicles of Narnia". If you are not planning on heeding my advice, then I warn you not to read any further until after you have seen it, but I highly recommend that you take my advice and read what I’m about to say.

***SPOILERS***

I did not know much about this movie going in, only what I had seen from the trailer, and from that, I was under the impression that it was going to be another “Narnia” type movie where a couple of kids find their way into a fantasy land and have an adventure.

Why did I think this? Because that’s how it was being promoted. Turns out, that not only is this not what the movie is about, but apparently even the filmmakers were unhappy with the advertising campaign being misleading.

This movie is not about a couple of kids who find a fantasy land outside their back door and have an adventure, instead it is about a couple of kids who imagine a fantasy land outside their back door and pretend to have an adventure. That’s right, the place isn’t real, it’s all in their imagination.

The thing is, this isn’t even what I have the problem with. It was definitely a big letdown to me because I was mislead into believing that I was going to see a movie about one thing and in fact it was something else entirely, but I was actually willing to forgive this, and might have been able to enjoy the movie for what it actually was, if it weren’t for one other fact, the girl dies. That’s right, the cute little girl with the infectious smile and overactive imagination is killed about 2/3’s of the way into the movie, and the movie then shifts from being a movie about 2 kids and how they deal with the problems of normal life by making up a fantasy play land, to one kid learning how to grieve over another kids death, and then learning how to be a better person by learning from the life that she lived and by keeping her memory alive.

The movie is supposed to end on an inspiring note as the other kid does indeed keep her memory alive and brings his little sister into the fold, and the two of them continue to play in the imaginary land of Terabithia, but I did not feel good at the end of this movie.

To me it was gut-wrenching and as I have already stated, I walked out of the theatre with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and a haunting emptiness that lasted all day.

Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know, but with all of the terrible things that go on in this world today, I don’t want to see a movie that involves the tragic death of a10 year old girl. That’s not my type of entertainment. Or at the very least, I want to know going into it that this is not going to be the feel good movie it is being portrayed as.

Hey don’t get me wrong, I love stories that have shocking twists to them, in fact they are probably my favorite types of stories, and a lot of times the best ones are the ones where you’re not expecting anything shocking to happen.

But this is a kid’s story, and I don’t expect to see something like this happen in one of those stories, at least not in a story that I am assuming is safe to bring my 6 year old daughter to.

Sure Kyla’s seen death in movies before. She’s seen and loves all of the Harry Potter movies, The Chronicles of Narnia, Charlotte’s Web, and others, but none of the deaths in any of those movies had the same affect as this one.

The strange thing is, it didn’t seem to bother Kyla at all. As soon as we got out of the theatre she did what she always does after we see a movie and said, “Can we get the DVD?” When Penny asked her if she felt sad, she said no, and we didn’t really pursue it after that, so it doesn’t seem to have affected her at all; which is fine, but it sure had an affect on me.

Finally I want to say that I know that there are probably a lot of people out there who read this book and are going to defend both the book and the film by saying that the book is a masterpiece of great writing and study of human emotion and the film stayed true to it. And that I should be looking at this story for what it is and not what I was led to believe it was going to be.

That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. And maybe it is a great study of human emotion, but I don't care, because I did not go to the theatre to see that kind of movie, I went to see a fantasy movie, and I came out of the theatre feeling about as depressed as I ever had in my life.

Monkey Business

What is the deal with the “man in the yellow hat” from Curious George? He seems kind of creepy to me. This guy lives in the city, yet he's always dressed in a safari outfit, and not just a safari outfit but a bright yellow safari outfit.

He doesn’t seem to have any friends, except for a baby monkey that he seems to have stolen out of the wild and is now keeping illegally while trying to pass him off as a child, and strangely enough, he seems to be successful at it. He uses the monkey as a personal slave and who knows what else he’s doing with it. I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.

What I do know is that this is the type of character that I would not let anywhere near my daughter.

Sonorous

In an attempt to expand my limited vocabulary, I have signed up for the email word of the day on dictionary.com.
I probably won’t remember 90% of what I learn, but I figure if they just keep throwing it at me, some of it might stick.

Today’s word is:

sonorous \suh-NOR-uhs; SAH-nuh-rus\, adjective:

1. Giving sound when struck; resonant; as, sonorous metals.

2. Loud-sounding; giving a clear or loud sound; as, a sonorous voice.

3. Yielding sound; characterized by sound; as, the vowels are sonorous.

4. Impressive in sound; high-sounding.

I will now attempt to use it in a sentence.

All were silent as they listened to the sonorous voice of Patrick Henry complete the speech that would make history with the famous words, "give me liberty, or give me death".

Signs That Annoy Me

There’s a sign above the sink in the cafeteria of my office building that says, “please do not throw food in the sink, as it will cause the sink to clog.” I’m not annoyed by the sign itself, but I am annoyed by the fact that there are people in this world who are ignorant enough to cause a sign like that to be put up.

6 More Signs That Spring Is Coming Soon

There are many signs in the month of February that spring is on its way. It starts with Ground Hog Day early in the month. As the month progresses, the days grow longer, for me that means no longer driving to work in the dark.

Also for me, and many other Sox fans, there is the day the equipment truck leaves for Florida, followed a few days later by pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training (I think even most non-baseball fans know what it means when they hear the term “pitchers and catchers”.

And for me, here’s another one:

6 baseball articles in the Boston Sunday Globe.

Shrink Ray Breasts

I like to check the stat tracker on my blog once in a while to see who visited it and what brought them here. One of the items I can check is what key word searches were used to find my blog.

One of the more recent ones was “shrink ray breasts”. On the Google search result page, my blog was the 3rd one down. I mentioned the phrase “shrink ray” in one entry and the word breasts in a completely different entry (probably more than one). I also noticed that on the first page of the search results, all 10 web sites were similar in that the words shrink ray and breasts are mentioned separately.

It has me wondering, just what was this person looking for when he decided to Google the phrase “shrink ray breasts”?

Also, if I was going to have a pair of breasts that I could use as a weapon, I think that I would rather have a pair that shot a death ray, or at least a stun ray. Of course, X-ray breasts would be a hell of a lot of fun too.

Goodbye Old Friends

Variety may be the spice of life, but too much spice can cause indigestion.

Over the past year and some change, since I’ve had my iPod, my music collection has grown significantly; I currently have close to 7,000 songs on it. In general, as has been mentioned here before, I like to just let it play randomly, so I never know what’s going to come up next.

In theory it would be like having my own personal radio station tailored just for me, with no DJ’s talking over the music and no commercials, just song after song of music I like and want to hear.

Recently, I have discovered a hole in this theory, that being that songs keep popping up on my iPod that I don’t actually like. You wonder; how can that be? It’s my iPod, why would I put songs on it that I don’t like.

Well, the answer is very simple; and pretty obvious once you hear it explained. You see, I’ve been collecting music now for over 25 years, starting with vinyl albums and cassette tapes and moving on to CD’s. Back then, when I bought one of the above, I pretty much put it into my player and let it play.

If there was a song that I really despised, I would just skip over it, but for the most part I just listened to the entire album, and songs that I wasn’t sure of eventually just grew on me.

I think that there were 2 main reasons for this:

1. I liked the artist so I gave everything a chance.
2. Like most people, I want variety. I get bored hearing the same stuff over and over again, and back then, there wasn’t as much music so there weren’t as many options, and it wasn’t as easy to acquire all of those options as it is now.

So, I bought what I could afford to buy and continued to listen to it a lot. As the collection grew, so did the variety, but it never seemed to get to a point where I had so many options that I didn’t want to hear things that I was listening to. That is, until now.

Without getting into all of the math, I estimate that with the amount of time I spend listening to my iPod, and the amount of music I have on it, I am only going to hear each song about 3-4 times per year. Back when I was a teenager, I was hearing the same songs 3-4 times per week, and even more with the popular songs that were being played on the radio. It was to a point where I knew almost every word to almost every song I listened to and not only knew what album it was from, but what position it was at on the album.

With the amount of music I have now (and growing), I don’t ever expect to become that familiar with the new music I add, but I would still like to get to a point where, when I hear the song, I know the name of it and who’s doing it. At the rate I’m going now, that may never happen; which brings me back to the topic of songs coming up on my iPod that I don’t like. You see, I have music on my iPod that I have been listening to for years, even decades for some of it. These are songs that I was listening to back when I wanted as much variety as possible but did not have as much as I wanted.

And now that I do have that variety, these are also songs that I am realizing I no longer like, or quite possibly, never even really liked to begin with. Now that I have thousands of songs on my iPod that I’ve only heard a handful of times, and will only hear another handful of times in each coming year, I no longer have (or more accurately want to spend the) time to listen to the familiar songs of my youth that I probably never really liked to begin with, but only listened to because they were there, and as these songs come up on my iPod I am deleting them.

So, as I continue to expand my music collection and to say hello to all of the new and exciting options that are out there, sadly, at the same time I am saying goodbye to many old familiar friends that have been with me for up to 2/3 of my lifetime, but will now be removed from my life forever.

Winter Driving

I understand that there’s a major nor’easter going on out there right now and that you need to drive a little differently during storms like this.

But there’s a difference between the “being cautious” kind of driving and the “stay the fuck home because you have no fucking clue how to drive in this kind of weather, or better yet, move to Florida” kind of driving.

Crash Davis For President?

This morning Mitt Romney made his announcement that he will run for President. I saw a clip from an excerpt of his speech in which he stated the following:

"I believe in God and I believe that every person in this great country, and every person on this grand planet, is a child of God. We are all sisters and brothers.

"I believe the family is the foundation of America – and that we must fight to protect and strengthen it.

"I believe in the sanctity of human life.

"I believe that people and their elected representatives should make our laws, not unelected judges.

"I believe we are overtaxed and government is overfed. Washington is spending too much money.

"I believe that homeland security begins with securing our borders.

"I believe the best days of this country are ahead of us, because…

"I believe in America!

As I was watching this, I half expected him to end it by saying “goodnight” and turning around and walking off the stage as the camera panned to Susan Sarandon breathlessly sighing, “oh my”, as was the scene in Bull Durham after Crash Davis made this speech:

“I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hangin’ curve ball, high fiber, good scotch; that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap.

“I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

“I believe there oughtta be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro-turf and the designated hitter.

“I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and…

“I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last 3 days.

Goodnight.

Truck Day

For as long as I can remember, that day in February when the Red Sox equipment truck leaves Fenway Park to begin the 1,500 mile, 3-day journey down to Florida has been a special day. To me it always marks the beginning of a new Sox season, as well as a new baseball season, and it means that spring is right around the corner, a lot of things to get excited about.

“Truck Day” has always been a big deal to me, and now it’s just a big deal. Before, you always new that the truck would be leaving Fenway a few days before pitchers and catchers were scheduled to report, and if you somehow managed to forget, there was always a note in the local paper or the local news broadcast to remind you that the truck was leaving.

Now “Truck Day” is all the rage. There is an official press release noting the time and point of departure. The truck is accompanied by a procession of Red Sox ambassadors including “Wally The Green Monster” as it makes it’s way down Van Ness Street. It even has it’s own name now, “Truck Day”; before it was just the day the Red Sox equipment truck left Fenway Park for Florida.

I admit I’m slightly annoyed. Back when the Nation was more like a state, the day the Sox equipment truck headed down to Florida came and went with very little fanfare and only the “die hards” even knew it had occurred. Now in the “New Nation”, where membership costs $15 annually, it has become a big production and is being celebrated by people who have no idea of it’s history. I feel like something has been taken away from me.

Don’t get me wrong, for the most part, I’m very happy with what John Henry, Tom Werner, Larry Luchino, Dr. Charles Steinberg, and everyone else has done with the team and the ballpark. Sure I’d like to see this team win a World Championship without spending the kind of money that was spent on the Big Dig mishap, I’d like to be able to get into Fenway Park a few times a year to catch a game without having to give up a limb, or my first born, and I’d like to be able to know that, when I see someone wearing a Red Sox hat, they can tell me that Jerry Remy was an All-Star second baseman for the Sox (they don’t even have to know that he spent his first 3 seasons with the Angels) before he became the legendary RemDawg; but I’ve come to the realization that this is the way it’s going to be, and I can live with it. I’d much rather take this, then be a Kansas City Royals fan.

So tomorrow is “Truck Day”; it is no longer the day the equipment truck left the city, or whatever similar term you want to use to describe it. It has an official name and it is now officially celebrated in Red Sox Nation.

I’m a little saddened by this; however, having said that, it still won’t prevent me from being as giddy as a little kid on Christmas Eve.

Hey, That's My Flag And You Can't Have It!

Penny, Kyla, and I watched from the kitchen window this morning as this little thief tried to make off with our American Flag. After a long, hard struggle that lasted for about 20 minutes, he finally gave up and left it.

iPod Combos

While perusing the list of artists on my iPod, I realized that when I let it randomly select songs (which is most of the time), the possibility exists for any of the following combinations of artists to play back to back:

Alice In Chains/Gary U.S. Bonds
The Allman Brothers Band/Cherry Poppin’ Daddies
An Emotional Fish/The Psychedelic Furs
Audioslave/Barefoot Servants
B.B. King/ZZ Top
The Beach Boys/Great White
Bill Haley & His Comets/The Georgia Satellites
Blues Traveler/Journey
Boston/Chicago
Bush/Robert Plant
The Cars/The Derek Trucks Band
Cheap Trick/ The Dirty Dozen Brass Band
Chuck Berry/Fiona Apple
Cowboy Junkies/Men Without Hats
Def Leppard/Screamin’ Cheetah Wheelies
Dire Straits/Nirvana
Duke Ellington/Earle Hagan
Howlin’ Wolf/Screaming Trees
Little Feat/Big Country
Muddy Waters/Puddle Of Mudd
Our Lady Peace/Violent Femmes
The Outfield/Yaz
Peter Wolf/Los Lobos
The Presidents Of The United States Of America/Queens Of The Stoneage
Queen/King Oliver
Rush/Hinder
Social Distortion/Everclear
Soundgarden/Hothouse Flowers
Stray Cats/Temple Of The Dog
Vince Guaraldi Trio/Bobby Fuller Four
XTC/INXS
Yes/Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Super Blunder? Or Maybe Not

This past Sunday it cost a company 2.4 million dollars for a 30 second ad spot during the Super Bowl. Yesterday, Turner Broadcasting reached a 2 million dollar settlement with the cities of Boston and Somerville and the state of Massachusetts. Add in the $300.00 a piece they were supposed to pay the two guys they hired to put up the signs, the cost of the signs, legal fees, and whatever they paid people to put up the signs in other cities, and the total cost might get up to 2.4 million, maybe even a little higher.

Let's see, you could spend 2.4 million dollars for a 30 second advertising slot in a time and place where people’s attention is already diverted by the main event, they are also getting barraged by dozens of other 30 second ads, many of them will miss your ad as they use the break to take a pee, and many of them are probably going to be too hammered to remember half of them anyway.

Or you could spend somewhere around that same amount to gain an entire week of national media attention to the product you are trying to advertise.

I would say that Interference Inc. got a lot more for their clients money than any other marketing companies who were hired to do Super Bowl ads.

Looks like a brilliant marketing strategy to me.

Super Creep

While watching the Superbowl last night, I came to the realization about something that I think I’ve always known:

Prince is a creepy guy.

You Can Not Drive A Toy Car

Why is it that whenever there is a movie that involves little people, one or more of them always gets into a toy car and starts driving it around like it was real?

Look, I know that you have to have a certain suspension of disbelief when you’re watching these fantasy movies, and I do. I believe that a shrink ray could be invented and really work on people, I believe that somewhere out there, there could be a talking mouse who acts like a human being, I believe that it’s possible for all of the wax figures, including the miniatures, to come to life at night when the museum is closed; but once you put one of those people, or mice, into a toy car and have them start driving it around, I’m sorry, but that’s where you lose me.

This is a toy, it does not have a working stearing wheel, gas pedal, brake, or engine. Sometimes they're radio controlled but that only means that it is controlled by radio waives from a remote device of some kind. I don’t give a crap how fucking small you are, it is physically impossible to drive the damn car.

So, if you want me to believe that somewhere in this world there is a tribe of people that are so small they are referred to as "The Invisibles", or that action figures and other toys are really alive but only do their thing when humans aren’t around, then fine, I’m game, doesn’t sound all that far fetched to me, but please, please, please, keep them out of the toy cars, because once you go there, that’s it for me, I’m out, give me my money back and find someone else to watch your story.

Gottcha

Note: this is not a baseball story.

So Theo Epstein got married recently and Theo’s dad Leslie pulled a fast one on the media and an entire Nation. You can read the article here, but basically what it comes down to is that Theo, as is his right, wanted to keep it as private as possible, but the ever meddling media thought they were getting some inside information when they got his dad to talk.

Leslie Epstein basically told Boston Globes baseball writer extraordinaire Gordon Edes in an email that Theo and his new wife were married at a hot dog stand at Coney Island by an orthodox Rabbi; and Edes took the bait, hook, line, and sinker. Before long the news was all over town and all over Red Sox Nation and no one, it seems ever once considered that it was a joke, Leslie Epstein relayed the news rather convincingly.

In the article I linked to above, you’ll notice that Leslie Epstein apologized for it. What is he apologizing for? I say good for him for giving the media exactly what they deserve. I do feel a little bad for Gordon Edes because I think that he’s a great baseball writer who has a lot of integrity and is well respected in the game, but in his attempt to get a scoop here, he probably acted a little too hastily and really should have verified with Mr. Epstein about how serious he was.

But the truth is that Edes isn’t going to take much of a hit here because once the word got out, every other media outlet in New England jumped on it. Edes probably learned a valuable lesson here and I doubt it’s going to affect his credibility much, but it was really nice to see the rest of the media take the pie in the face like they did.

This is part of what’s wrong with this country, too many people are way to interested in what celebrities are doing in their lives and are not concerned enough with what’s going on in their own lives. It disgusts me at how many rags, tabloids, and TV shows are out there making money on this stuff. If people cared as much about their own lives as they did about some of these people’s then maybe there wouldn’t be as many fuckups as there are.

So Leslie Epstein I salute you, nice job. You have nothing to apologize for and if you can get away with pulling off a stunt like that then I say more power to you.

Songs From My iPod

Information Age- Institute

Institute could also be called “Bush Continued”, because Bush was basically Gavin Rossdale and Institute is a continuation of what he would have been doing had Bush stayed together.

Juke Box Hero- Foreigner

You love it too, you know you do.

Hole In My Pocket- Sheryl Crow

I dig Sheryl Crow. I dig most of her music too, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

Do You Think That’s Fair- John Mellencamp

An oldie from Mellencamp, back when he was Cougar

Dead Flowers- The Rolling Stones

The Stones fucking rock, although this is more countryish

People Who Died- Jim Carroll

A list of dead people on a list of songs from my iPod

Texas Flood- Stevie Ray Vaughan

Blues at it’s best

Bankrobber- The Clash

I’m not a big fan of reggie, but for some reason when it’s done by The Clash it’s okay

You Part The Waters- Cake

I love Cake, ice cream cake and chocolate cake are 2 of my favorites, but my most favorite of all is John McCrea’s Cake

A Promise Kept

I’ve been putting up Christmas lights outside the house for 3 years now. The first year I didn’t take them down until the spring, it was almost Easter and the running joke was, as long as I get them down before Easter, it’s okay. I mad a promise to myself that I would not let it go that long the next year.

Last year I did do a little better and managed to get them down around the end of February. Better, but still not good enough.

This year, when I put them up, I promised I would get them down in January, and I did, I got them down today. Good thing there are 31 days in January because I needed all of them to keep my promise.

Although I made the promise out loud in front of dad, Penny, and Kyla, I really only made it to myself, but a promise is a promise no matter who it’s made to, and if a man don’t keep his promise, then he ain’t worth nothin’.

Songs From My iPod

I'm playing around with all the new blogger options. One of them is lists, I can make lists of whatever I want off to the side of my blog. Since music is such a big part of my life and I listen to it a lot, I thought it would be fun to make some lists of certain songs I've recently heard on my iPod that stood out.

I originally posted this last night as a list, but as I was making this entry to talk about it, I decided that these lists would be better off as blog entries for a few reasons.

1. When I update it, the old songs won't go away.
2. I realized that I wanted to comment on some of the songs and I couldn't do that in the list.
3. Everyone else can comment as well if they want.

This may or may not be a daily thing, but here's the first entry:

Down Here (With the Rest of Us)- Social Distortion

Frim Fram Sauce- Diana Krall

Don't know what that sauce is, and I'm not sure I want to know.

Giving It All Away- Hot House Flowers

Am I the only person I know that likes these guys?

Helena- My Chemical Romance

I admit it, I'm new to this band, but I'm quickly discovering how much I dig them.

Highway to Hell- AC/DC

Currently trying to learn it on guitar, coincidentally it played on my iPod yesterday.

I'm A Rocker- Bruce Springsteen

Intimate Secretary- The Raconteurs

I love Jack White, the stuff on this CD is just as good as everything he's done with Meg.

Italian Leather Sofa- Cake

"She's got a silk dress and healthy breasts, that bounce on his italian leather sofa"

Jump With Me Baby- Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Pressure- The Kinks

Simple Lessons- Candlebox

Soul Kitchen- The Doors

Struttin' Blues- The Black Crowes

That's Life- Frank Sinatra

The Famous Final Scene- Bob Seger

Woman Is The Nigger Of The World- John Lennon

Dude I totally get your message and I completely agree with it, but I have to admit that I was a little hesitant to post this song title here. You sure had a strange way of getting some of your points across; which of course, is why you were so controversial.

New iPod

This morning I ordered myself one of these babies. There was nothing wrong with my old 30GB iPod, except for the fact that, at only 30GB it was filled up and I could not put anymore music on it.

When I first bought it about a year ago, I figured 30GB would be enough to last me for years. It turns out that years ended up being year, as in about 1 year, that’s how long it took me to fill it up. And that’s filled up with music that I like, almost 6,000 songs that I actually listen too. Each time I added a new album or artist to it, I would listen to it and weed out anything I didn’t like. There are probably a few stray songs on it that slipped through, but for the most part it is filled with almost 6,000 songs that I want to hear.

I recently took off about 70 Christmas songs just to make room for some other new stuff I wanted to put on it (I figured I had about 10 months to figure out how to get them back on for when I wanted them again), and I have an additional 400 or so songs on my computer that I want to add to it, but I no longer have the room. There is also some borderline stuff (songs that I wasn’t sure of) on my computer that I had to make some hard decisions on to make more room for new songs that I was sure of.

Yesterday I decided that I just couldn’t live like this anymore. I know, a year ago I was living just fine without an iPod at all, but things are different now. I can’t even imagine life without it.

It changed my music listening experience. Before when I wanted to hear something, I had to take out a CD and play it in whatever CD player was available, depending on where I was. Half the time I couldn’t decide what to listen to and I ended up not bothering to listen to anything. I would spend 5 minutes trying to decide what to bring with me for the 7 minute ride to work, or for the 10 minutes that it was going to take me to fold up some laundry in the bedroom.

Now I have speakers set up everywhere that I want to hear music and when I’m going to be in one of those places I just plug in the iPod and let it go. I don’t worry about what I’m going to hear, occasionally I want to hear a certain song or album, but mostly I just let it play through my 6,000 songs randomly. I love listening to music this way, it’s like having my own private radio station where there are no commercials, I’m always going to hear a song that I like, and if one comes on that I’m not in the mood for I just skip to the next one (which doesn’t happen all that often).

And it has to be ALL of my music, I know a lot of people love the Nano’s but for me that 8GB doesn’t cut it, hell the 30GB doesn’t cut it anymore. I need all of my music with me all of the time, I don’t want to have to try to decide what to put on it and what to take off. That would put me almost right back where I was when I was fumbling with CD’s and I don’t want to be there again.

Which brings me to where I am now, my trusty 30GB is full and I have nowhere to go but up, so that's what I've done. I’ve ordered the new 80GB and I figure that should hold me for a while. It also has some nice new features, the main one being the search feature which allows me to find a song easier by actually using the click wheel to type in the name of the song, or artist, or album.

So that’s it, I’ve put in the order for the new iPod and now I’m patiently waiting for it to arrive so that I can start adding all of my new songs to it and get on with my life.

World's Oldest Living Person, Dead Again

Emma Tillman died yesterday at age 114, four days after she took over the title of “World’s Oldest Living Person” from Emiliano del Torro who had died on January 24th at age 115. He had taken the title from Julie Bertrand just 5 days earlier when she died on 1/19/07 at age 115. At least she managed to hold onto it for a little over a month when she took it from Elizabeth Bolden who died on 12/12/06 at age 116.

And so it goes. It takes longer than an entire lifetime to achieve this distinctive title, and in many cases it’s gone within days.

When Emma Tillman died yesterday, she passed the title on to Yone Minagawa who is 114 and living in Japan. How long will she hold onto it?

Get your bets in now folks; it might already be too late.

Diana Krall

I have recently concluded that this woman can not sing a song that I will not listen to.

That is all.

Four Posts In One Day?

Wow, four posts in one day. I usually have trouble getting up four posts in one week, never mind one day.

Okay, I know this last post is kind of questionable because all it really is a post to note that I posted 4 times in one day, thereby creating the 4th post to get me to 4 posts in one day, but hey, it’s not like I’m posting about nothing, I’m posting about the fact that I posted 4 times in one day so I think that makes it a legitimate post.

Besides, even if you still want to argue that this post is about nothing, nothing is the same thing as crap and the name of this blog is Primarily Crap, therefore, any post in this blog about nothing is a legitimate post.

So there, it may or may not be a post about nothing, but either way it’s still a legitimate post and that makes four posts in one day.

Thank you.

Rena Sofer

I kind of dig Rena Sofer. Apparently she is best known for a couple of gigs on daytime soaps in the 90’s, but I know her from a short-lived series on the Sci-Fi channel called “The Chronicle”.

I hadn’t seen much of her after that show got cancelled in 2002 after only 22 episodes (it wasn’t all that great anyway and I admit that I was only watching it in the end because Penny was still watching it and I just wanted to keep looking at Rena), according to the Internet Movie Database, she’s had some parts in a few different TV shows that I didn’t watch. Recently she has shown up playing a recurring character in not one, but two of my favorite TV shows.

And what’s more these 2 shows, “Heroes” and “24” are now being shown opposite each other on different networks (thank the good lord for DVR’s).

She made her first appearance on “24” on the most recent episode this past Monday, playing the wife of a man with questionable motives and integrity. So far she has made 2 appearances on “Heroes”, although none recently, also playing the wife of a man with questionable motives and integrity (although that’s looking like it may change soon, both the questionable motives and integrity and the fact that she’s his wife).

I find it interesting that she is playing 2 seemingly similar roles on different TV shows at the same time that are also on at the same time. I wonder if this has ever happened. Also, it looks like she will at least be in next weeks episode of “24”, and possibly more (you just never know who will be killed next in that show), and although she has not been on “Heroes” recently I think I remember reading that she would be back; which begs the question, “will there be a time when she is actually on 2 shows at the same time, and has it ever happened before”?

Just wondering.

Man From Nantucket

I try not to be too serious on this blog (or anywhere else for that matter). So, I was aghast when I noticed that I had posted 2 serious entries in a row. I assure you that it was entirely accidental, I apologize and I promise to make sure that it will never happen again.

In the meantime, in an attempt to try to compensate for the faux pas, here’s a little poem I just came up with:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who got his head stuck in a bucket
He tripped on a stone
Hit the ground with a groan
And said, “damn it, why couldn’t I just have a big dick like the other guy”

If You're Going To Desecrate An American Flag To Make A Statement, Make Sure You Understand Exactly What It Is That You're Trying To Say

An internet acquaintance has started a new blog of political doodles. I really like the first two so far, but I have a problem with the desecration of the American flag in his first one.

The issue is not with the actual desecration of the flag, the first amendment preserves that right for everyone, so I have no problem with that.

The issue is that I believe in most cases the intention of the message is misguided. Most people who desecrate flags are doing so to express opposition to the government, and that's where I have the problem.

The flag is not a symbol of the government; it is a symbol of the country; which in turn means that it is a symbol of the people. The country and the government are very different things. I have many issues with the government, particularly this administration, but I still love my country.

When I see a flag being desecrated I see it as an insult to this country. I think of the people who truly hate this country, such as terrorists and many foreigners who have been brainwashed into believing that this country is evil, and in some cases even fellow Americans. These people desecrate flags because they despise the American people, the United States of America, and everything that it is about, regardless of who is in power.

To me, flag and country are interchangeable. When you talk about your flag, you're talking about your country and your people. If you ask the soldiers in Iraq what they’re fighting for, most of them will tell you that they’re fighting for their flag; or their country (because it means the same thing). They are not fighting for George W. or the United States Government; they are fighting for the United States of America.

If they see a flag being desecrated over there, they are going to take it personally. It’s been this way since the flag was first created during the American Revolution. Those soldiers were willing to, and did, fight and die for their country, same with every other war since then. And to them, the flag is the country and must not be desecrated or destroyed.

That’s why you always hear those stories about the flag-bearers going down and everyone scrambling to make sure that it gets picked up. The flag had to be protected at all costs because the flag represented the country and that’s what they were/are fighting for.

So, if you want to desecrate an American flag to make a statement that you hate America, then fine. Personally, I think you’re either an ass or an idiot for doing so, but that’s your prerogative (which; ironically is one of the reasons why you should “not hate this country”). But if you’re doing it with the intentions of making a statement to the United States Government, then you’re making the wrong statement, go burn an elephant or an ass.

Teenage Wasteland

What is it with teenagers nowadays? On my way to work this morning, I had to stop at a light. It’s one of those lights that exist solely for people to press the button and stop traffic so they can cross the street.

First of all, let me say that I’m annoyed by those things, or more specifically, I’m annoyed by the people who use them. They have their uses. They’re great to help elderly and handicapped people get across the street. There are times when others may need it, if you’ve got children with you, or you’re carrying bags of groceries or some other bundle that weighs you down or obstructs your view, and I’m sure there are some other circumstances, but most young, healthy people should be able to safely make it across the street without having to press that button and stop traffic. Of course, your opinion may differ, but for me, spending as much time as I do driving, I prefer to do my best to try not to obstruct traffic as a pedestrian, I’m willing to wait a few seconds for a break in the traffic so I can get across without having to stop it; which brings me back to this morning and the two teenagers who crossed the street.

It’s 6:50am; there is not a lot of traffic on the road in this area at this time of day. There are plenty of times that I could walk across the street and then back to the other side without a car passing by. However, this did not prevent these 2 kids from pressing the button to get across anyway. This isn’t even what bothered me. Whatever, that’s what it’s there for, even if I don’t think you need to use it, you are entitled to it and I’m not going to complain.

What bothered me was the speed at which they crossed. They used the entire time allotted to them. With the amount of time they had to get across, I probably could have made it 3 or 4 times. An elderly woman would have made it across the street quicker than they did. The “don’t walk” started flashing when they were only about halfway across and I didn’t think they were going to make it. They were just stepping onto the sidewalk as the light turned green again.

Watching this reminded me of how often I actually see this. At least these kids pushed the button, a lot of times they’re just meandering across the street randomly and don’t give a damn at all about how much traffic they’re stopping, or if all of the traffic is even going to stop, it’s almost like they’re challenging you. It’s always the worst near a school while it’s letting out for the day. All these kids come out at the same time and just start crossing the streets, taking their own damn time and seemingly oblivious to everything that’s going on around them.

And it’s not just crossing the street; it’s everything, so many of them seem to have complete disregard for their surroundings. I’ve been down the park with Kyla and there have been groups of teenagers down there swearing out loud with no regard for the fact that there are adults and young children around. Or I see them hanging around in the mall swearing, goofing around, causing general disruption and not giving a crap about the people around them who are just trying to do their business.

I don’t remember being like this as a teenager. Sure I was a bit rebellious, and there were certainly times when I did something stupid, but I think in general I showed respect for adults and just about everyone else. I may swear like a maniac now, and even did back then, but I know I didn’t do it around adults, and usually not around children, unless I was actually teaching them the swear words.

I remember hanging around in the mall and being an all around goof-ball, but I still did my best to be aware of who was around me and tried to make sure that I didn’t offend anyone.

When I crossed the street, or moved around anywhere, I always moved fast, if not walking fast then actually running, always being aware of who or what was around me and showing the proper respect. Hell, I was a kid; I was supposed to be running wasn’t I? I don’t think that there was ever a time in my life when I could possibly be moving as slow as those 2 kids I saw today (I don’t think when I’m 80 I will be able to move that slow).

And of all of it, it’s the attitude that’s the worst. These kids just seem to have the attitude of “fuck you” to everything. “Fuck you, I’m crossing the street and you’re gonna wait ‘til I’m done not matter how long it takes me”. “Fuck you; I don’t give a crap that I’m hanging around in a playground your 6 year old can hear me swearing”. “Fuck you, I’m hanging out in this mall and if me and my posse are in your way, too fucking bad”.

I know it’s not all of them, there are plenty of them out there who are good kids and usually do the right thing, but it sure seems to me that there are a lot more of them out there nowadays who just don’t give a crap about anything. I only hope that most of them smarten up and figure it out before it’s too late.

Some Pig?

Kyla is currently into “Charlotte’s Web”. We saw the new live action movie last weekend and she’s had the picture book since she was a baby and recently got the original book, plus she has the DVD of the animated version from the 70’s.

I remember reading this book at some point in grade school, but I didn’t really remember much more than the fact that there was a spider in a barn named Charlotte that had befriended a pig.

After seeing the movie last weekend, I have to say that I’m a bit miffed by the story.

Wilbur, the pig, was born in the spring and is scheduled to be Christmas dinner. All of the animals in the barn know this and they decide to try to do something to prevent it. Over the summer, Charlotte comes up with an idea to write something in her web (that’s spider web, not web site) to convince the farmer that the pig is special. She comes up with the words “SOME PIG”.

The next morning the farmer sees the words written in the web over the doorway of the barnyard. Word gets out and people come from all over to see the pig, and the farm becomes a tourist attraction. After a month or so the novelty wears off and things get back to normal at the farm. As great as it was, it apparently was not enough to grant Wilbur a stay of execution.

So Charlotte creates a new web with the word “TERRIFIC” written in it. Again the farm bustles with people coming to see the pig, and again it wears off and Wilbur is still scheduled for Christmas dinner.

It’s done a 3rd time with the word “RADIANT”, the entire process is repeated, but this time the farmer becomes convinced that the pig is so special that he should bring it to the County Fair where it is sure to win a ribbon.

Unfortunately, for Wilbur, he is beaten out by a big fat hog, and the farmer decides that he’s nothing more than a Christmas ham after all. But then, Charlotte, who has come along for the ride, makes one last attempt at saving Wilbur by creating a web in the stall he is kept in at the fair with the word “HUMBLE” written in it. Now everyone in the fair comes over to see “some, terrific, radiant, humble pig”, and Wilbur is given a special award by the Mayor. This, apparently, is finally enough to convince farmer Zuckerman not to eat Wilbur and he gets to see Christmas and live on.

There is a sad twist at the end as Charlotte, who is very old, does not go back to the barn with them, instead staying behind at the fair where she is at the end of her life and will die soon. She does however have a sack of eggs that are brought back to the barn where they are looked after by all of the animals until they hatch. Most of the baby spiders leave, but 3 of them stay to become Wilbur’s friends and honor their mother’s memory.

Overall, a heart-warming tale, however I’m not buying it. What was so special about the pig? As far as I can tell, the only thing that was special about it was the fact that there was a spider writing words about it in her web.

So, what we have here is a baby pig, who seems to be just like every other ordinary baby pig, and a spider who’s writing words in her web about it. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to that farm to see the spider and her webs. If that was happening today, and that farmer could find a way to preserve those webs, he’d make millions on Ebay.

And why are you going to eat a baby pig for Christmas dinner? How much pork are you going to get from that? I’m no farmer, but doesn’t it make more sense to keep the pig around for a few years until it gets nice and big? Then you have Christmas dinner for not just your family, but probably your friends and neighbors, plus bacon for Christmas breakfast, and maybe even enough to do it all again on New Year’s.

I’m sure once that spider was not around to write words in her web about it, that’s what eventually happened to the pig anyway.

Armed And Famous

If I was a cop, I think I would be extremely offended by this. Actually, I think I'm offended by it anyway.

Winter Is Here

…and it looks like it’s going to stick around for a while; well at least until the end of the week anyway. We may even see some snow on Thursday night.

There’s something screwy going on with this weather and I’m not buying into this global warming crap. Why? Because, while there were people lounging on the beaches around here last week, this week there were people ice-skating in their driveways in California, and half the oranges in the state were destroyed by frost, meanwhile fountains were freezing over in Arizona.

Even though I’ve yet to touch a snow shovel or even a broom so far this winter, I wouldn’t dare mention that to the people out in the mid-west, who keep getting bombarded. And even though it took this long to finally get cold here, it’s now about 15 degrees lower than the average temperature around this time of year.

So don’t try to convince me that this world is getting warmer Mr. Gore, cause it don’t look that way to me.

DON'T PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT!

I was in the stall in the bathroom of a restaurant today. There was a guy in there with his very young son trying to get him to use the urinal. I could not see anything, but here's what I heard:

Stand right there, do you need help?

No, you need to use your hands to aim it

Watch out, hold your penis with your hands

PAY ATTENTION! LOOK DOWN, LOOK DOWN!

DON'T PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT!

Are you all done?

Lines From Songs That Probably Wouldn’t Go Over Very Well

Lines from classic rock songs that you probably don't want to try if you're looking for good results.

The Cars- Just What I Needed

“I don’t mind you coming here, wasting all my time”

Springsteen- Thunder Road

“You ain’t a beauty, but hey, you’re all right”

Faces- Stay With Me

“With a face like that you got nothin’ to laugh about”

Blue-Footed Booby

I’m sitting here doing some stuff on the computer, Penny’s gone to bed, but she left the TV on. I can’t see it from where I’m sitting, and although I can hear it, I’m not really listening to it, so I have no idea what’s going on except that there seems to be some kind of documentary on and the narrator has a British accent. Whatever this documentary is, the narrator sounds very serious, except for the fact that about every 4th or 5th word out of his mouth is “boobies”.

After a while I had to get up and find out what the hell was going on. The documentary is called “Equator” and it’s about the Galapagos Islands and some of the species that inhabit them. They’re currently following a flock of birds that are known as the Blue-Footed Booby, but the narrator has just shortened it to “boobies”.

You've got to be kidding right? Someone actually put together a documentary that they expect to be taken seriously, and then went out and got a guy with a British accent to keep saying "boobies"?

Hero Defined

If you look up the word "hero" in the dictionary, the name Wesley Autry should be in the definition. What he did still blows my mind. I'd like to think that I would have done the same, but I can't really say for sure.

We all know that Mr. Autry did not do what he did for the rewards and accolades, he did it because someone needed help so he helped them. He may not think of himself as a hero and he may not like or be comfortable with all of the attention he is receiving. You could say that the talk shows and news outlets are going a little overboard.

Whether he's comfortable with it or not, or whether the talk shows are going overboard or not, I for one am glad that he's doing it. With all of the bad people and bad things that are going on in this world, and filling up our monitors and tv screens, we need a story like the one that Wesley Autry has provided us with.

He has become a symbol of what is right and good in this world and we need to know that he is out there, he has truly defined the word "hero". He deserves all of the accolades and rewards that he gets; which seem to just keep on piling up. Good for him.

Chief Silent Drum

Vernon Lopez, Chief of the Mashpee Wampanoag and first speaker of the 2007 Massachusetts Governor Inauguration.

Today's inauguration is filled with a lot of firsts.

It's the first time that the exiting governor, Mitt Romney, will not be there to turn over the "symbolic gifts" and make the ceremonial "lone walk" out of the State House, having done all of this the night before.

It's the first time that the entire ceremony will be held outside.

It's the first time that the state of Massachusetts will inaugurate a black (or any minority) governor.

But of all the firsts, I think that my favorite first is that it is the first time that the first speaker of the day was wearing a chicken on his head.

Cutting Out Trans Fat, And The Foods That Contain It

I find this interesting. Starbucks is the latest on an ever growing list of food places to remove trans fat entirely from their menus, although they've only done it with half the chain so far.

Today, my HR rep told me that she went into Starbucks this morning to order her favorite pastry and they no longer carry it. It was one of the foods that contained trans fat.

So apparently, until they figure out how to make it and still have it taste good without the trans fat, they've just removed it from the menu altogether. I don't eat at any of these places that have all of these foods with high trans fat content so I really have no idea how it's been affecting them as they decide to get rid of it, but now I'm wondering just how many products have been removed from menus because of this.

It seems that these places can't get the trans fat off of their menus fast enough, even if it means sacrificing the products that people love, regardless of the fact that it contains trans fat.

To me, that is just funny stuff.

Red Sox Fan Kathryn Gemme Dies at 112

According to this article, Kathryn Gemme attended her first Red Sox game in 1912 at the age of 18, and her last game in May of 2004 at the age of 109.

This means that this woman was 9 when the Sox won their first World Series title in 1903, 18 when they won their second in 1912, and was in her 20's when they won their next 3 in '15', '16', and '18'. She then lived long enough to see them win it all again 86 years later in 2004.

I remember when we won it in 2004, reading about all of these people who were around when we won it in 1918, but most of them were not old enough to remember it. This woman was not only old enough to remember that one, but at age 9 she was also old enough to remember the first one, and since (according to the article) she "remained mentally sharp until the end", she would have also remembered the last one in 2004 and the other 3 in between.

So basically what I'm getting at here is, this woman actually experienced and remembered all 6 Red Sox World Championships. That's a pretty darn impressive feat, in fact, I don't know of anything else in sports that could possibly top it.

New Year's Resolution

I don’t think that I’ve ever made a New Year’s resolution in my entire life. Personally, I don’t really understand them. If I’m going to decide to be resolute about something, why do I have to wait until the beginning of the New Year to do it?

If I decide that I want to try to eat better and it’s March, am I supposed to wait until January of the following year to start doing it? You see what I’m saying; it just doesn’t make sense to me. If you’re going to do something, or stop doing something, just do it, or don’t, but why wait until the New Year to make a big production out of it; and you know you’re probably not going to follow through with it anyway? Every year you hear someone say, “This is the year that I’m finally going to start working out and get myself into shape, or start that project I’ve been putting off, or quit this job and do something that I really like to do”. Oh really, this is the year? What was wrong with last year, or the year before that, or 1982? Just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean that you have to start making all of these promises to yourself that you’re not going to keep, and if you really are going to keep them, then just do it, don’t wait for the New Year.

Just like everyone else I make resolutions. And just like everyone else, I follow through with some of them, don’t quite finish some of them, and never even begin some of them. But at least when I make a resolution, I’m either doing it or not doing it right then, and not waiting for some super hyped-up, artificially inflated starting date. Hell, I could already be finished with it or given up on it by then.

I also feel this way about Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, it’s my favorite holiday. I love it even more since Kyla’s been around. But that’s just it; to me Christmas is about the kids, at least the present part. I don’t need or want presents. If I need or want something I get it, I don’t wait until Christmas for someone to get it for me. In fact, I think it’s ridiculous when I hear someone telling someone else not to get something because Christmas is coming up. Yeah it may be coming up, but it’s fucking October and I want it now, I don’t want to wait another 2 months for Christmas.

Christmas is great. I love putting up the lights and the tree, getting together with my family, seeing Kyla’s face on Christmas morning as she’s unwrapping all of the presents that Santa brought her. I love the spirit of it all, so don’t screw it up for me by making me wait until Christmas to get something that I wanted 3 months ago, or be aggravated with me for not leaving you anything to get for me for Christmas.

If I don’t already have it, chances are, either I don’t want it, or you can’t afford to get it for me. But I’m okay with that, and you should be too.

BTW, I’m making a resolution right now to try to write more in my blog then I have been lately, and more about other things than the Red Sox. Coincidentally, this resolution happens to be coming at the beginning of the New Year, however it is not a New Year’s resolution.