Back To High School...Again

I had that dream again last night. You know the one, you’re back in high school. Or maybe you don’t. I’m not talking about, you’re 17 and reliving your high school days, I’m talking about, you’re 39 and you suddenly find yourself having to go back to high school.

I actually used to have this dream a lot when I was younger, but it’s been quite a while since I’ve had it. I’m not sure why I used to have it so much, maybe it had something to do with the fact that I actually failed 2 classes my senior year, but they let me graduate anyway, telling me that if I wanted to go to college I would have to make up the 2 classes at some point. Maybe I had it last night because I’m currently re-reading a book series that I originally read when it first came out back when I was in high school.

In any case, it’s quite frightening. Don’t get me wrong, overall I enjoyed high school. I had quite a lot of fun and it was a great time in my life. But being a teenager in high school is one thing, being a 39 year old, or 25, or 30, or whatever other ages I was when I had the dream, is quite another.

In all versions of this dream that I can ever remember, I’ve been forced to give up my job and become a full-time student again. As is usually the case, last night’s dream began with me driving my car to school and hoping that when I get there, there will at least be a couple of my old friends there as well. Sometimes there are, sometimes not. Almost always when there are, they look like they did back when I knew them in high school.

In last night’s version I pulled into the parking lot and found that there were 3 others there as well. One was a guy who I still see around once in a while and he looked like he does as I know him now. The other 2 were woman (actually girls) who I haven’t seen since high school and looked like they did in high school. Although I was friendly with all 3 of them, I never hung out with them, but when I saw them in the parking lot it was as if they were my best friends, I wasn’t going to go through this alone.

There was also a gaggle of current students there, and to my surprise, they not only knew who I was, but were treating me like I was some sort of legend. Now I was somewhat popular in high school, and I was certainly a legend in my own mind, but I was a little taken aback at how I was being treated by this group of young kids.

I never actually made it into the school this time. I woke up just as we began walking to the building; which is fine with me, because in past dreams when I actually did make it into the school it was a terrifying experience. I was forced to sit in class and learn things, things that I didn’t want to learn back then, and things that I still don’t want to learn.

So that’s it. My high school dream came back to me last night, or a version of it anyway. It had been gone for a while, but I can’t say that I was missing it and I can’t say that I want it back anytime soon, or ever again.

My Morning Song

Many mornings I wake up with a song playing in my head. It doesn't seem to have any rhyme or reason to it. It could be a song I heard the day before, a song I haven't heard in years, or anywhere in between. It could be a song I really like, really don't like, really don't give a crap about either way, or hardly even know.

I figured for the hell of it, I'd start posting them here.

Today's song was Kim Wilde's "Kids In America". I couldn't get into the shower and get the iPod going fast enough to get it out of my head. Actually, I really don't mind it that much, but I don't ever need to hear it again either. I'll classify it as a "don't give a crap about either way".

And yes, the title of this entry was borrowed from the title of a "Black Crowes" song.

Here We Go Again

It’s that time of year again. The sun is out, the weather is warm, the water is cool and refreshing, and people are drowning. Could someone please explain this to me? Because I just don’t fucking get it.

I’m not a great swimmer, but I’ve been able to keep myself afloat and get around in water for as long as I can remember. No one ever taught me how to do it, I just got in the water and figured it out, so I have a very difficult time trying to figure out how people keep drowning themselves.

Now I can see being in a boat on the ocean, or a raft on a wildly rapid river, and somehow getting dumped overboard and not making it to shore alive. In the former, you can only stay afloat for so long before you get tired out and give up, and in the latter, it could be very difficult to keep from getting swallowed up by the rapids.

But how the hell do all these people keep managing to do it to themselves in small lakes and ponds, and even pools? Like I said before, I can’t fathom (no pun intended) not being able to swim. If I’m in a lake or pond and I can see land, I can get back to it. And hell, if I’m in a pool, I can stand up in it and the water only comes up to my waist. Even if it’s a pool with a deep end, I’m only a few feet away from the shallow end.

So it makes absolutely no sense to me why everyone can’t do this. But apparently this is the case, and if you happen to be one of those people who can’t do it, then why the fuck are you out on a lake?

I don’t care if you’re on a boat, or a canoe, you can’t swim, you shouldn’t be on something that could tip over and dump you into the water. Or at the very least, you should be wearing a life jacket so if it does happen, you can stay afloat and get yourself back to shore.

Just another example of how dumb people can be. I just don’t get it.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun, And A $200 Gift Card To Target

So, yesterday was the first day of Mayor Menino’s new gun buyback program here in Boston. Turn in your gun, receive a $200 gift card to Target. Sunday night a man was shot and killed in Dorchester. Last night 4 people were shot, one dead, and another person was stabbed to death.

The good news is, 40 guns were turned in to local police yesterday. The bad news, we’re currently on a pace to surpass last year’s homicide total of 75.

The way I see it, people are going to turn in some guns and take the 200. But some of them are going to get their last shots off before they do. Or even worse, they're going to start killing each other for their guns, so they can keep their own gun and turn in someone else's.

Oh, and the stabbing? That guy probably figured, I’ll take the 200, my knife will work just as good.

I wonder how much he can get for the knife.

Andrew Morbitzer WTF

Okay, so Barry Bonds finally hit #715 today and passed "The Babe". Whatever, you all know how I feel about Bonds and about this achievement so I'm not going to say anymore about it here. What's done is done, and like it or not, we have to live with it.

What I really want to talk about is this Andrew Morbitzer guy. This is the guy that ended up with the ball. He's a Bonds fan. Again, whatever, that's his problem and although I don't get that, I get this even less.

If you've seen the replays, you've seen that the ball bounced off a couple of fans before landing on an elevated platform, rolling off the roof, and dropping down toward a concession stand where Morbitzer was waiting in line for beer. He claims he heard the roar of the crowd, saw people reaching in the air, and then reached up with one hand and snagged the ball as it was dropping off the roof.

So, what don't I get? This guy claims he's a Bonds fan. He was even wearing a shirt that said "Bonds 715" on it. Yet when Bonds is coming up to the plate to take another shot at getting that 715, this guy is down at the concession stands getting a beer.

WTF!?

How can that happen? Can someone please explain it to me?

He claims that he was in the bleachers where he couldn't see who was up next, so he decided it was a good time to go get a beer. Huh? I don't care where your sitting in a ballpark, there's always somewhere to find out who's up next. If you're paying even a little bit of attention to the game, you have to know that Bonds AB is coming up shortly and this is probably not a good time to go get a beer. Although, obviously for this guy, it was the perfect time to go get a beer, and a ball that's probably going to be worth more than any other baseball in history up to this point.

So, a lot of people will probably say that this guy was in the right place at the right time. I say that he was in the wrong place at the right time. It really just doesn't make any sense, but hey, he's the one with the multi-million dollar ball and I'm not, so who am I to argue.

We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions

I admit it; I’ve been a little annoyed with Bruce lately. He put “The E Street Band” back together in the late ‘90’s’ and toured with them. He then recorded an album with them in ‘02’ and toured with them again. The greatest rock ‘n’ roll band in the world was back and kicking ass, and I was damn happy about it.

Then, just like that, he ditches them again, records another solo album, and proceeds to go on tour without them.

Despite the fact that Bruce’s music is heavily rooted in, and influenced by folk, I’m not really a big fan of it. So when I heard that his newest album was going to be a collection of songs that were written or made famous by Pete Seeger I wasn’t all that thrilled. This was 2 in a row now without the band. When was he going to get them back together? For the first time since “The River” I didn’t rush out and get the new album the day it was released. I finally picked it up yesterday and after listening to it this morning I realized I had made a mistake.

All I can say is, WOW! Folks, this is not folk. The best I can describe it is a funky combination of folk, bluegrass, gospel, rockabilly, and Dixieland. He’s put together a collection of talented musicians backing him playing horns, violin, banjo, accordion, and keyboards. The only “E Streeters” are Patty on backup vocals and Soozie on violin.

When Bruce covers something, it’s always his own interpretation. It never sounds like the original, and this is no different. This is not your daddy’s Pete Seeger and it seems like the type of thing that only Bruce could pull off.

I love it, and I’m not the only one. When I first put it on this morning, Kyla came running over and grabbed onto me, which is her way of showing that she likes something.

So, while I’m still waiting for “The E Street Band” to get back together, I’ll be listening to “The Seeger Sessions” and Kyla will be listening with me.

Do You Have Cancer?

If you come to me claiming you have cancer and you need money, you'd better be prepared to show me medical bills to back up your story.

Stones Lyrics

I will be your knight in shining armour
Riding across the desert
On a fine Arab charger

That can't be too comfortable.

Keeping It All In Perspective

Exxon Mobile Corp has made 8.4 billion dollars in the first quarter of this year. That’s so much damn money that it’s easier to write out “8.4 billion” then to try to figure out how many zeros that is.

I’m paying more for gas right now (almost $3.00 a gallon) then I’ve ever paid in my life (as is everyone else), and the world's largest oil company just pulled in the fifth highest quarterly profit for any public company in history. I just don’t know what to make of that.

I do know this though; it’s been quite some time since anyone has complained to me that they pay too much for their cable.

Another Columbine Tragedy

This is the dream I had last night.

I was watching the news. On the 7th anniversary of the Columbine Tragedy, the high school suffered another one. Authorities had determined that everyone had gotten out of the school this time and made it to safety except for one student, who was still inside and being held hostage. As near as they could tell, the culprit was a chicken.

A standoff ensued and was now being covered live. The chicken was not talking, it had not made any demands and no one knew what its agenda was or where it had even come from.

After a couple of hours it seemed as though the chicken had had enough. Apparently, it was not interested in giving in peacefully though, because instead of giving up the hostage and surrendering, it decided to make a break for it. It left the hostage inside and came charging out the front door headed towards the crowd, where, unfortunately it was gunned down by police.

The school was shut down for a couple of days and grief counseling was again offered to students and families. The only one who used it this time was the student, who was having a very difficult time coming to grips with the fact that he was a complete loser for being held hostage by a chicken.

2006 Boston Marathon

After 39 years of living within a mile of the Boston Marathon route, I finally made it out to my first one yesterday. My friend Chris, who comments here as CC, was running in his first one. He was running to raise money for the Aids Action Committee, and we went out to cheer him on around the 21-mile mark.

If I’m reading the website correctly it looks like he finished in 4 hours, 5 minutes, and 52 seconds, an impressive feat.

CONGRATULATIONS CHRIS! NICE JOB!

I’d also like to extend my congratulations to everyone else who ran it, no matter how long it took them, and those who had the guts to try it, no matter how far they got.

This being my first marathon, I have to say I was not only amazed by the runners, but also by the people supporting the runners.

The spot we were in, right at the bottom of Heartbreak Hill, was packed with people, even 4 hours after the race began. We were there for about an hour, and during that time we were surrounded by people who were maniacally cheering on complete strangers.

It’s one thing to go to a ballgame and route for your team. Sure these people are pretty much strangers, but we know their names, know a little bit about them, and know that they play for the team we are rooting for.

In this case, just about every runner is a face in the crowd. Someone they have never seen before and will never see again. There were other people like us there, people who were waiting for a particular runner to come by so they could show them some support. But there were hundreds of people who were just rooting for everyone that went by.

It was constant cheering the entire time we were there. I’ve been at Fenway during a World Series and I’m not even sure the cheering during that was as consistent and unfaltering as what I heard during that hour yesterday.

I imagine that it’s like this along the entire 26 miles, and hearing that for the entire run must be an incredible boost for the runners. So, regardless of their motives for being there, they are there, and I have to believe that there are runners who finished when they might not have, finished faster than they might have, or maybe got a lot further than they would have, because these people were out there doing their thing, and they deserve some credit for that.

My hat goes off to all the marathon supporters.

Road Rash

Can anyone please tell me why so many people who are most likely reasonably intelligent and good-natured, become completely ignorant and inconsiderate fucktards when they get behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle?

Fantastic Four Review

I finally got around to watching the Fantastic Four movie last night and here's my review:

That movie totally sucked. Jessica Alba is really hot.

Game 2

I'm not going to disect every game, but I thought it was important to followup on last nights fiasco after the great start we had on Monday.

Tim Wakefield is one of the few none question marks we have on this team. We know what we're going to get from him every season, maybe not every game, but every season. Nine times out of ten he's going to go out there and give this offense a chance to win the game. Every once in a while he's going to go out there and have a game like he did last night. No big deal. It sucks that it had to happen in the second game of the season on the heals of that great start by Schilling, it definitely gets magnified this early, but at the same time, it's a little easier to take, because of the great start by Schilling.

For everyone who's getting all over Josh Bard, I'd like to remind you that Mirabelli started out the same way. He didn't just become Wakefield's personal catcher and start handling the knuckleball smoothly overnight. In fact, he wasn't even his personal catcher right away, and when it was decided that's what he would do, it took him some time and a lot of hard work and practice (with different gloves) before he was able to do it. I'm not saying Bard is going to be great at it, but we can't start worrying about not having Mirabelli after one game.

Every once in a while Manny has a night where he looks completely clueless at the plate, and last night seemed to be one of them. I know he saw about 30 pitches for the night, fouling off a ton of them, including that 10-12 pitch at bat, and most people will say those were good at bats, and that may be true for a lot of hitters, but that's not Manny. When Manny's on he hits the ball, he doesn't foul them off like that. That wasn't a case of him fouling off tough pitches, it was a case of him not getting good wood on the ball.

Another big game tonight as we get our first look at Beckett and find out what he's got for us.

KFC (Not Just Fried Chicken)

Is KFC (formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken) running a family restaurant or an adult nightclub?

Is it just me, or is there something not right about the names of their meals?

I can go into a KFC establishment and order a “Strip” or a “Breast”. I can have a seat and order a “Laptop”. If that’s not going to be enough for me I can go ahead and get myself the “Zinger Works”. If I’m still not satisfied I can go for the “Extreme”. And if I’m feeling particularly kinky that night I can just order myself up a “Twister” or even a “Twister Combo”.

KFC, they’re not just fried chicken anymore.

Lessons Not Learned

When the fuck are these pedophiles going to learn their lesson?

DO NOT SET UP A MEETING OVER THE INTERNET WITH A 15 YEAR OLD!!

Chances now are pretty good that the person on the other end is not a 15 year old wanting to suck your dick, but an undercover law official wanting to bust your ass. DUH! That's not going to work anymore.

If you want to get away with it nowadays, you're gonna have to become a catholic priest.

Glad She's Back

I really am happy that Jill Carroll was released and appears to be unharmed. There have not been enough of these things with good endings, so this is truly an inspiring day.

But as I sit here watching the live press conference in which a representative of "The Christian Science Monitor" just wrapped up his speach, the cynic in me can't help thinking about how great it must be for them.

They get their reporter back alive and have a happy ending. But more importantly, whether they admit to it or not, they've gotten all of that free press over the last few months and will continue to receive it for quite some time.

Checks

On my home today I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a couple of things. The woman in front of me paid by check. I had to wait for her to get out her checkbook, write the check, and hand it to the cashier who then had to go through all of the processing bullshit that comes along with writing a check.

I don't understand. I know checks still have their place in society. You still can't pay every bill online and there are still people out there who aren't online. There are times when you need to give someone money and you're better off writing a check than giving them cash.

But pulling out a checkbook in any kind of retail store is completely incomprehensible to me. If you've got a checkbook then you've got a checking account, and if you've got a checking account then you've got access to a debit card, and if you've got access to a debit card, why the fuck aren't you using it?

No Death Penalty

I’ll start this by saying that I’m not a supporter of capitol punishment. Although I do not have a problem with someone being put to death that deserves it, I don’t think it’s worth taking the chance of making a mistake and putting someone to death who is innocent.

I really don’t think it’s a deterrent anyway; my only reason for wanting some scumbag to be put to death is so we don’t have to waste our tax money supporting the ass hole.

Now, having said that, I feel the complete opposite about this Zacarias Moussaoui fucker. This guy is pushing for the death penalty because he wants to die so he can “join Allah in the promised land”. Whether or not that will actually happen when he dies is a different story, but that’s what he believes is going to happen, and that is the exact reason he should not get the death penalty.

He should be tossed into a cell to rot away for the rest of his life, and everything in our power should be done to make sure he endures a long miserable existence.

Meet The New Cardinal, Same As The Old Cardinal

ATTENTION BOSTON AREA CATHOLICS:

In the last 3 years since the old guy was ousted and the new guy was brought in, nothing has gotten better for the catholic church. In fact, if anything, with the closings of all of these parishes around here, I would say things have gotten worse.

I'm not sure what you're all so excited about. Now that the new guy has been promoted to a cardinal, the only thing that changes is his hat.