Lessons Not Learned

When the fuck are these pedophiles going to learn their lesson?

DO NOT SET UP A MEETING OVER THE INTERNET WITH A 15 YEAR OLD!!

Chances now are pretty good that the person on the other end is not a 15 year old wanting to suck your dick, but an undercover law official wanting to bust your ass. DUH! That's not going to work anymore.

If you want to get away with it nowadays, you're gonna have to become a catholic priest.

Glad She's Back

I really am happy that Jill Carroll was released and appears to be unharmed. There have not been enough of these things with good endings, so this is truly an inspiring day.

But as I sit here watching the live press conference in which a representative of "The Christian Science Monitor" just wrapped up his speach, the cynic in me can't help thinking about how great it must be for them.

They get their reporter back alive and have a happy ending. But more importantly, whether they admit to it or not, they've gotten all of that free press over the last few months and will continue to receive it for quite some time.

Checks

On my home today I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a couple of things. The woman in front of me paid by check. I had to wait for her to get out her checkbook, write the check, and hand it to the cashier who then had to go through all of the processing bullshit that comes along with writing a check.

I don't understand. I know checks still have their place in society. You still can't pay every bill online and there are still people out there who aren't online. There are times when you need to give someone money and you're better off writing a check than giving them cash.

But pulling out a checkbook in any kind of retail store is completely incomprehensible to me. If you've got a checkbook then you've got a checking account, and if you've got a checking account then you've got access to a debit card, and if you've got access to a debit card, why the fuck aren't you using it?

No Death Penalty

I’ll start this by saying that I’m not a supporter of capitol punishment. Although I do not have a problem with someone being put to death that deserves it, I don’t think it’s worth taking the chance of making a mistake and putting someone to death who is innocent.

I really don’t think it’s a deterrent anyway; my only reason for wanting some scumbag to be put to death is so we don’t have to waste our tax money supporting the ass hole.

Now, having said that, I feel the complete opposite about this Zacarias Moussaoui fucker. This guy is pushing for the death penalty because he wants to die so he can “join Allah in the promised land”. Whether or not that will actually happen when he dies is a different story, but that’s what he believes is going to happen, and that is the exact reason he should not get the death penalty.

He should be tossed into a cell to rot away for the rest of his life, and everything in our power should be done to make sure he endures a long miserable existence.

Meet The New Cardinal, Same As The Old Cardinal

ATTENTION BOSTON AREA CATHOLICS:

In the last 3 years since the old guy was ousted and the new guy was brought in, nothing has gotten better for the catholic church. In fact, if anything, with the closings of all of these parishes around here, I would say things have gotten worse.

I'm not sure what you're all so excited about. Now that the new guy has been promoted to a cardinal, the only thing that changes is his hat.

Big Ego?

I’m fairly certain that I never had a very big ego, but I think that may no longer be the case. I just sent an email out to all of my friends begging them to read my blog. It was thinly disguised as a gentle reminder that I’m out here writing this stuff, but none of them are stupid and neither am I, we all know what’s going on here.

I’m writing stuff. It may not be very good stuff, but it is stuff. And if I’m going to be writing stuff, then dammit, I want it to be read. And I’m going to do what I can to get people to read it, even if it means begging them by sending out emails that are trying to trick them into thinking I’m just reminding them about it.

The Big Hit

As you may have surmised from my post 2 below this one, I'm not really a big fan of Saint Patricks Day. To me, it's just an excuse for people to go out and get all boozed up and act stupid, as if they need an excuse for that. To each his own, I just have no use for it.

The one useful thing I do see in Saint Patty's Day is this: it's an opportunity to take out all of the dirty state politicians at once, as they all gather together in Southie.

Of course, they'd all just be replaced by new ones anyway, so nevermind.

Fiddler Seamus Connolly

I usually have the TV on in my office and it's usually tuned to NECN. I have the iPod on so I can't hear it and only turn it up if I see something interesting.

I happened to glance up at it and saw they were interviewing some guy named Seamus Connolly who is apparently a fiddler, because he was holding a fiddle and at the bottom of the screen it said "Fiddler Seamus Connolly".

Come on now, how can anyone calling himself a "fiddler" really expect to be taken seriously?

Evacuation Day

Today is a holiday in the city of Boston, MA and the rest of Suffolk County. In March of 1776, Henry Knox successfully completed his mission of retrieving the canon from the captured fort of Ticonderoga.

Washington then had them placed on top of Dorchester Heights in South Boston and aimed them down at the city. Realizing Washington had him dead to rights, General Howe agreed to take his troops and his fleet and get the hell out. They left Boston and sailed for Nova Scotia on March 17th.

The city has been celebrating this victory ever since, and in 1901 it finally became an official holiday. I've never really understood how all of the green beer, shamrocks, and leprechauns fit in.

Goblin Hunter

I don’t usually remember my dreams and when I do, they’re usually not very interesting. A couple of days ago I remembered one that was really strange. I decided to write it down to post here. As I was writing it, I realized that with a few changes it might actually make the premise for a good sci-fi series. So instead, I made those changes and decided to write it out that way.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, probably nothing, but I figured I’d post it here to see if I could get any opinions or suggestions for improvements from any of you sci-fi geeks reading.

I realize it’s not completely original; I’m a Joss Whedon fan. I know I’ve borrowed concepts from other things as well; I’m also an X-Men fan. I thought it might be an interesting twist on an old plot.

Goblin Hunter

Goblins, terrifying creatures of the night, the stuff of legends and fairy tales, at least that’s what most people believe. Then there are those of us who know better. For us, goblins are all too real; they lurk in the shadows just out of sight. We have recently discovered their existence but still don’t know much about them. They’re humanoid shaped with baldheads, deep eye sockets, and large ears. They generally only come out at night, and they’re responsible for countless unexplained deaths and disappearances.

The government has formed a secret goblin task force, and I am a member of this team. Our job is to ferret out hidden goblin bases and destroy them. It was during one of these forays that I was captured by goblins and brought back to one of these bases.

Here, I am told that I will be transformed into a goblin. My immediate concern is that I am going to lose my good looks and become a hideous abomination. I’m told that in my case it’s not likely. Apparently, all humans are born with a goblin gene. In most humans, it stays dormant. In a small percentage of humans it manifests with varying results.

Most result in heightened abilities, either senses, physical strength, reflexes, intellect, or psychic. Almost all result in a change in physical appearance, and a small percentage become mentally deranged. The gene can manifest any time in a person’s life, from a couple of months, to many decades. The goblins have developed technology using a combination of science and psychic means to sense at long ranges when the gene is about to manifest. They are also able to detect how a gene is going to develop.

If there is going to be no physical change or mental instability, then the person is left alone to make his or her way in life. We see them everyday as scientists, psychics, hall of fame athletes, etc.

All others are brought back and integrated into goblin society. They are successful in locating and retrieving 99.9% of them; which is the reason we do not see them running around in our world. The idea is to save them from a life of torment, persecution, or worse. In cases of mental instability, it is also to prevent them from hurting themselves or others. This would explain the mystery of so many unsolved missing person cases. The .01% not recovered are still out there. Some are in mental institutions, some in prison, some in circus sideshows, and unfortunately, some are still lurking.

During my transformation, which takes about a month, I learn more about these “goblins” and their community. They are nothing like we’ve been lead to believe. In fact, for the most part, they are much like us with the exception of their looks and unusual abilities. They have been around for as long as the human race has been in existence. The ones who were altered in appearance were feared and branded as monsters. Eventually enough of them managed to get together and form their own society. Over time, because of their superior abilities, they advanced ahead of us technologically. They used these technological advances to create hidden bases all over the world; which would house them and keep them safe from us.

Despite the fact that they have been driven to this, they still care about humanity. They try their best to capture, or destroy if necessary, those who have become unstable and have escaped detection. They have not figured out why the gene is not detectable in certain individuals, but there are certain signs that tell whether or not a goblin could be involved in murders, crimes or other strange occurrences. They have also discovered that there are other things out there involved in many of these that are worse, much worse, and a couple of rogue goblins may be the least of humanities problems. Still they are willing to do what they can to help.

Their appearance prevents them from working out in the open; which in turn has always made it difficult to work these cases, and now that we know they exist and are actively hunting them, it has become even more difficult.

This is where I come in. As I mentioned already, until recently, they ignored those of us whose gene did not cause change in physical appearance or mental stability. I’m one of those people. In addition, I am also a rare breed whose gene resulted in the development of more than one ability. My changes consist of heightened senses, reflexes, physical strength, and psychic abilities. This, combined with my government training and knowledge, makes me the perfect operative for the goblins to work in the human world. The hope is that I will be the first of many.

I used to be a goblin hunter. My job was to help save humanity from monsters lurking in the darkness. Now I work for the goblins, but my job is still the same.

Mad Cow Is Back

I had the news on last night, as they were heading to a break they went through a few quick blurbs of what was coming up. One of these blurbs was the above statment, "mad cow is back".

I thought to myself, "who keeps pissing of this poor cow and why don't they just leave her alone"?

kumquat

I was at the fruit and vegetable store today. I understand that this fruit originated in Asia and I assume that the name is derived from either Chinese or Japanese; which is probably fine over there. But seriously, how the fuck can anyone be expected to say that name over here without giggling or just plain laughing out loud? You know you never have.

They change the names of well known ballparks, stadiums, sports teams, streets, and even cities and towns occasionally. People change their names all the time. Well known companies constantly change names as they are bought and sold. Why can't they change the name of a fucking fruit?

Mysteries and Conspiracies

If anyone's interested, here are a few mysteries and conspiracies that I've solved over the last few years:

JFK was assassinated by republicans from the 22nd century who thought they traced the downfall of their party to the rise in power of his administration. They used new technology to travel back in time and eliminate him before this could happen. Unfortunately for him, and them, they were not smart enough to realize that the real cause of their downfall had taken office at the beginning of the 21st century.

Watergate was actually the cover up of an alien plot to take over the world. When the head alien, disguised as a human and calling himself Richard Nixon, realized the plot was about to become exposed, he and his henchmen made it look like they were trying to cover up a plot by his administration to undermine political opposition in the public anti-war movement and the Democratic Party.

Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman were murdered by a clone of O.J. Simpson. In the early 90’s, scientists were succesful in creating the first human clone. Thinking he was a perfect specimen because of his All American Image on and off the football field, they chose the DNA of O.J.

For the first test they decided to send it to the home of O.J.’s ex-wife to see if she could tell the difference. Unfortuately, the cloning process was not perfected, the clone was mentally unstable, and thinking it was still married to Nicole, it killed both of them in a jealous rage.

Elvis is alive. After tiring of all the public attention, he staged his own death. However he did miss the thrill of live performances and is currently living in Las Vegas doing nightly performances as one of the many Elvis impersonaters.

Person of Interest

I find this interesting (pun intended). As far as I can recall, I first heard this term earlier this year being used during the Neil Entwistle case, before they actually arrested him on suspicion of double homocide. I next heard it this week being used to describe Darryl Littlejohn, and it now looks like he will be charged with the murder of Imette Saint Guillen very shortly.

I "Wikipedia'd" it, it looks to be a relatively new term, and apparently there is no formal definition, but basically, it seems that if you are tagged as a "person of interest", you are pretty much screwed.

So, although it may be flattering to be described as an "interesting person", YOU NEVER EVER EVER want to find yourself being referred to as a "person of interest".

I would be remiss if I did not give Kristen some credit for this one. It seems we both had a similar idea about it yesterday and ended up discussing it last night, where she suggested I blog it.

FINALLY!

"Robin Hood: Men in Tights" is coming out on DVD on April 4th. I've been waiting forever to see this movie again. For some reason it has never been released on DVD and it's been quite some time since it's been shown on any of the cable movie channels (that I know of anyway).

Now I just hope it's as funny as I remember it being.

Weighing In On The New Barry Bonds Steroid Book

WE GOTTCHA NOW FUCKER!

Justice

Sometimes I wake up in the morning with some strange thoughts in my head, I have no idea where they come from, but I thought I would start writing them down. Here's the first one:

David Justice- Not quite a "Hall of Famer", but a very solid and noteworthy big league career. 1571 hits, 305 home runs, 3-time all-star, played in the post-season in 10 of his 14 years, including 6 World Series of which he won 2.

But personally, I think his biggest accomplishment was screwing Halle Berry for a couple of years.

QOTSA

I can't stop listening to the "Queens of the Stone Age" latest, "Lullabies to Paralyze".

Boston Massacre

Today is the anniversary of “The Boston Massacre”.

I’m not talking about that cursed 4 days at the beginning of September 1978 involving Torrez, Fiske, Hunter, and Jackson that cost us a pennant.

I’m talking about that single day at the beginning of March 1770 involving Garrick, Attucks, Preston, and White that sparked a revolution and became one of the biggest pieces of propaganda in history.